Awakening
by ButterflyGirl89
Summary: Olivia's attacked by a perp and left pregnant. 1yr later the perp comes back to finish what he started and Olivia's killed, or so the team is told. Elliot raises the baby as his own promising to protect her. Her rapist father is back 15yrs later to make her his next victim El tries to keep her safe but can't do it alone so Olivia returns to keep her own promise to protect her child
1. Chapter 1

**Thanks to everyone who has decided to give this story a chance. I truly appreciate it. I hope to hear your thoughts on it, as always constructive criticism is more than welcome.**

**Summary: (Beginning takes place back when the series was first starting out but will run through right to the newer series which means Amaro and Rollins will be in it too in later chapters) Olivia, Elliot and the rest of the team are tracking a brutal serial rapist and murderer. They're at a crime scene when Olivia is snatched by the very monster they are trying to catch. She is badly beaten and raped, before being rescued by the team, but her attacker gets away. Olivia tries to move on but soon discovers she is pregnant with her rapists baby. She is determined to break the cycle life has thrown her into and be the best mother she can be, promising to always love and be there to protect her daughter... but fate has other ideas and Olivia is shot by her attacker and killed... **_**or so everyone is told**_**. Elliot goes on to raise the baby as his own but when her rapist father escapes prison he comes looking for his daughter with all intentions to make her another one of his victims. Olivia suddenly reappears, having been forced into witness protection for years to protect her and her daughter. She is determined to face the man who has haunted her life and keep the promise she made to protect her daughter. **

**A/N: Elliot and Kathy are divorced from the start of this story so no little Eli but all the other Stabler children will be mentioned. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine if you've seen them on SVU.**

**Chapter 1**

_**March 1999**_

It was hot...really hot. Beads of sweat rolled down Olivia Benson's face, down her neck and she could feel them dripping down her cleavage too. Her bullet proof vest was like a shell that she was trapped in feeling boiling hot. The heat truly didn't make this task any easier but she knew it had to be done and she knew her partner, Elliot Stabler, was probably feeling just as uncomfortable and as frustrated by the heat as she was.

They had come to the small house in hopes of finding brutal serial rapist and murderer Vincent Doyle hiding out here as finally they had tracked him down through a relative of his, a cousin._ At least they hoped they would find him here. _

The house was small and looked ready to crumble to the ground due to some severe neglect. The exterior pain was chipped, the gutters where broken, some of the windows boarded up. The electricity in the property didn't work so it was dark inside with just rays of sunlight creeping in through the gaps in the boards covering the windows or the few windows that actually remained in tact.

They had checked out the whole of the downstairs and now most of the upstairs too but they had found nothing but signs of a rat infestation. Elliot and Olivia froze as they came to last room upstairs. Elliot silently nodded to Olivia and then tried to turn the handle but it didn't budge. _It was locked_. They shared a worried yet curious look before Elliot then turned to face the door fully, he took one step back, and then with one hard kick to it the door swung wide open. Olivia ran in behind him, her gun aimed and ready. Their suspect wasn't in the room but there was a bed in the corner and a woman lay on it.

They could both see the woman was unconscious and there was a nasty bleeding gash on her forehead. She was dressed in a black cocktail dress and although one of her heels had fallen off the right one remained on her foot. Clearly she'd been on a night out on the town when she was taken. It was obvious she had probably spent hours doing her hair before she had gone out but now her blonde curls were matted with blood, her makeup smeared across her bruised face.

Elliot was first to reach the woman. He put his gun away and checked the woman had a pulse. "She's alive" he told Olivia, "I need something to cut this rope off her." he said as he began trying to pick at the thick knots.

Olivia sighed with relief and replied, "I'm going to call for a bus. I'll see if there's something we can use to cut her free." She headed out of the room and figured she might find something to use in the kitchen.

**~0~0~**

It had taken just a moment for Olivia to call for a bus but it was taking her forever to find something to use to cut through the rope. The drawers were empty of anything useful and she suddenly realised this had probably been done on purpose. She stepped by the sink towards the last remaining drawer praying she would find something to free the woman, however it was the sudden hollow sound of the floor beneath her feet that caught her attention.

She found herself tapping her heel against it, checking she had heard right, she had, and although the rug beneath her feet did muffle the sound slightly she knew there was just hollow space below her. She used her foot to kick the rug aside and found herself looking down at a small square hatch door. She crouched down beside it, eyeing up the odd handle that was built into it.

A muffled moan coming from the hollow space suddenly caught her attention. She remained quiet and listened again, this time she was sure she heard someone begging for help and they sounded weak and desperate. Knowing she couldn't wait if there was a victim down there she slowly pulled open the hatch and then took out her gun. She remembered seeing a small torch in one of the drawers so she quickly stepped across the kitchen and grabbed it, her heels tapping against the floor.

She shone the torch down through the door and saw steep ladders. She decided to go down them with her back to them. She did this with her gun and the torch in her hands. It was awkward but she soon found herself stepping down onto the concrete basement floor. She slowly shone the torch around the tiny room noting how, despite it being so warm upstairs, that it was freezing in the basement. There was a small window in the corner that had been splattered with black paint so it didn't allow any light in except for where the paint had flaked away.

Olivia continued scanning the room, finally her torch fell upon something in the corner. It was an old mattress and she could see there was a woman lying on it. She slowly made her way over to her. She crouched down beside the woman wondering if she was unconscious as she had yet to move. However when she crouched down beside the woman and pulled the thin blanket covering her back enough to be able to see her face she could tell they had arrived too late to help her.

Her glassy eyes started up at nothing. Her face was pale, covered in bruises and cuts. Olivia moved the torch to her neck where she could see a chain had been wrapped around the womans throat.

"Son-uva-bitch!" she muttered to herself, hating their perp more than ever. The number of bodies on his hands was growing and Olivia swore there would be no more. She couldn't stand the thought of arriving at another scene to see it was their perp, Vincent Doyle, at work. There had been too many...

_Olivia suddenly felt a cold chill run down her spine_. She couldn't help but feel like perhaps she wasn't alone in the basement. She was hoping it was Elliot but the way her heart was pounding in her chest told her to be worried, _to move quick!_ She went to push herself up but she felt something wrap around her neck and then she was ripped back. Her gun and torch fell from her hands as she reached up and tried to pull the scratchy material free from her neck. She guessed it was rope and she felt it burning into her skin as her attacker pulled it harder, so hard she felt her feet lift up off the ground.

She wanted to scream, call out for Elliot, but she couldn't breathe the rope was so tight around her neck. She felt herself becoming light headed and although she wanted to keep fighting her arms fell heavily by her side and she could no longer struggle against her attacker, and if it was even possible down in the dark basement everything became more black...

**~0~0~0~0~**

Elliot paced around the basement that was now swarming with CSU officers who continued to gather any evidence they could. They had set up big spotlights that flooded the small basement with light.

The rest of the team and Cragen had arrived quickly after Elliot had called in Olivia's disappearance. No matter what any of them said to him it didn't budge the feeling of guilt that had fallen over him.

"She's my partner, I'm supposed to have her back." he snapped angrily.

"This wasn't your fault, Elliot." Cragen reminded him.

"I was upstairs, and he was down here, and he took her. I didn't stop him so that makes it my fault."

"You have to stop thinking like that. Just concentrate on finding her." Fin said.

"How many times have we known that Vince has took another woman, we search and we search, we follow the clues and we still find a dead body at the end of it all."

"Then we search harder. We find Olivia before Vince has chance to hurt her." Cragen said.

Elliot rubbed his face before he replied, "It's been four hours, he could have done all sorts of stuff to her in that 've seen what he's capable of."

"Liv's strong, El. Don't forget that." Munch said.

Elliot knew his partner was strong. She had showed him how strong she was on the many cases they had worked, but he also knew how dangerous Vince was and he hated the thought of him hurting Olivia.

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia had woke up in some sort of basement. It was small and pretty much empty except for the dirty mattress she had woke up on, and a bucket that sat to her left with a toilet roll beside it. There was no chance in hell she would use that no matter how desperate she got. There was a heavy chain fixed around her ankle and it was tied around a metal pipe that traveled up the wall. She had tried for hours to break free of it but it was no good.

Her attacker had taken her shoes and socks from her as well as her jacket. She had on a pair of black trousers and a long sleeved white t-shirt but it wasn't enough to keep her warm in the cold basement. There was a blanket on the mattress but she didn't dare use it. She had no way of knowing who had used it before her or why it had been used. She just kept picturing the womans body she had found before she had been attacked, she could practically feel the itchy material of the blanket between her fingers as she had pulled it back to reveal the womans face.

She had tried calling out for help but that had gotten her nowhere. She couldn't even be sure anyone was around to hear her. She had managed to move across the basement floor to a tiny window in the corner. Upon looking out of it all she could see were trees and shrubbery. She guessed wherever she was it wasn't in Manhattan anymore.

Her heart skipped a beat when she heard a door creak open. The sound of heavy boots coming down the stairs seemed to echo all around her, adding to the deafening sound of her own heartbeat as it now pounded against her chest. Finally she saw her attacker and the SVU's latest perp walk into the room.

Vincent Doyle was tall, mid to late twenties, dark short hair with hazel coloured eyes. He was muscular, clearly he worked out. To most women Vince would be classed as a very very good looking guy, but the monster that he truly was was hidden beneath his good looks, behind his charming smile and sparkly eyes. That was perhaps what made him most dangerous.

"Detective, I'm so glad you're awake" he said, his voice quiet and a little husky. "You had me worried for a while there. I thought perhaps you and I wouldn't get to have any fun...I'm not really into doing women cold. I like them struggling which they can't do when they're dead."

"You know my partner and the rest of my team are already looking for me and you, and when they find you you will regret this." As she spoke Vince moved closer and closer to her.

She flinched when he pulled out a gun, her gun, and placed it against her throat. "When they find you they won't even recognise that beautiful face of yours and I won't be here." he warned her. "Shall we get started?" he asked, not wanting to waste any time.

Before Olivia even had chance to reply she felt him hit her hard in the face. The force was strong enough to send her crashing to the floor face first. She quickly tried to push herself up but it was no good as Vince fell down on top of her. She felt him rip her arms behind her back. She heard a familiar jingle of metal before she felt her own cuffs being secured around one wrist, then the other.

She couldn't help but panic, she needed her arms free so she could fight back against Vince. She wasn't going to let him do to her what she had seen him do to all of his victims...but with her arms tied up she realised she was going to have little choice. Doing the only thing she could she screamed at the top of her lungs, praying someone would hear her. "HELP! HELP ME!"

Little did she know there really was no one around to hear her screams. She could only pray the team would find her..._fast..._

**TBC**

**Thanks so much for reading. This story will play out over a matter of years so if you're wondering where Benson baby comes into it then please bear with me. **

**Leave a review and let me know your thoughts. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much to all who are reading and reviewing. I'm so glad to see everyone who reviewed wanted more. So this chapter contains violence and rape so if you don't want to read that then maybe wait until the next chapter. Thank you. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

**Chapter 2**

_This isn't happening! I can't let this happen! I won't let this happen!_

Those words played over and over in Olivia's heard as she desperately fought for freedom from the crushing weight of Vince's body as he remained on top of her, as he moved against her. She could feel him growing harder each time his body would grind against hers.

She suddenly felt the weight lift off her but her relief was short lived. Vince had moved off her only to stand up and kick her so hard in the side she was flipped onto her back. For a moment she had been in too much pain to do anything, but the fight soon returned to her, despite the pain she was in, when Vince grabbed her arm and pulled her up slightly before throwing her back down onto the mattress in the room.

She landed on her back but was quick to try and push herself up but it wasn't easy and she couldn't move quick due to the pain in her ribs and the fact her arms were cuffed behind her back. One more hard kick to her side had her crying out in pain. She could barely contain her tears as Vince came crashing down on top of her again adding to the pain in her ribs which alone threated to suffocate her, Vince's weight added made her panic as she felt like she couldn't take in a deep enough breath.

His body was heavy as he straddled her, glaring down at her. "I've never fucked a cop before," he told her as he began unbuckling his belt and unfastening his jeans.

"Help!" Olivia screamed again, ignoring his threats. She was praying help _would _arrive soon and spare her the ordeal she knew was coming. "Help! HELP!"

Vince found her attempts to attract help funny and so laughed at her as he grabbed hold of her shirt in both hands and easy tore it open. She so badly wished she could do more to stop him, but her arms remained cuffed behind her back and she couldn't squirm from under Vince as he truly was just too heavy.

He leant over her so he could place hard bruising kisses on her neck. She could feel his teeth graze across her flesh and she was just waiting for him to bite her. He always left multiple deep bite marks on his victims. She hated his touch, it made her skin want to crawl off her body.

"Get off me you son-uva-bitch!" she roared at him.

She yelped in pain a second later when she felt him sink his teeth into her flesh. "Help me!" she screamed again as she tried to shake him off her but it did no good and she felt herself beginning to lose control of her emotions as she realised there was nothing she could do now. As she realised that she was about to become Vince's next victim. The words that had been playing over over in her head now changed to cruel taunts that she couldn't ignore.

_This is happening! You're letting it happen! It __**is**__ happening!_

"Help! She screamed again her voice breaking with emotion this time.

"That's it, keep screaming, I love it when you bitches scream," Vince told her before he began unfastening her trousers.

"No..." she cried as he gave her trousers a tug. She tried to roll to the side now he had lifted his weight off her slightly but he quickly wrapped one hand around her throat. "No!" she cried angrily as she felt him place himself at her opening. "No!"

She tried to prepare herself for what was about to come, but part of her brain refused to do this, as it refused to accept that this _was_ about to happen. Then, with one hard and painful thrust Vince was inside her. He pumped into her so hard that her body shifted with each painful slam.

**~0~0~0~0~**

Elliot was with the others in the squad-room. The place was alive with utter chaos as everyone worked on bringing one of their own back home safe. Elliot couldn't stop thinking about the bad things, the things he knew Vince was capable of. He tried to think about how tough his partner was, how she would be holding her own one way or another. She was stubborn, and would fight Vince in whatever way he tired to hurt her, whether it be physical or emotional.

He suddenly worried about the trouble his partners attitude could get her into. He leant over his desk, closed his eyes, and prayed his partner was okay, prayed they would find her soon. He wanted badly to hold her in his arms and never let her go. He wanted to stare into her deep brown eyes and never look away.

For weeks he had been working out how he could tell her how he felt about her. Their relationship had changed recently and he was a smart enough man to know that the way he felt for her was the same way she felt for him. One of them just needed to grow the balls to tell the other one.

Elliot swore to himself that when he found her, and he would find her, and as soon as the moment was right he would tell her how he felt. _God he loved her..._

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia had simply sat there with her legs tucked up against her chest for the last hour or two that she had been alone. She had no idea what time had passed. It felt like a day but she knew it wasn't. Time, just like her captor, was tormenting her. Her wrists were now bound in front of her, something Vince had done when he had finished his assault.

She tried not to think about his attack but the throbbing pain between her legs was a constant reminder. Vince had finished up with her for now but he had promised he would be back and with each minute that passed she wondered when later would be.

Her answer came when she heard the door to the basement she was in creak open. It was a high pitched sound that sent shivers down her spine and made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

She quickly pushed herself to her feet and stepped away from the mattress, trying to shield her naked self as best as she could with her arms. "What you trying to hide yourself for?" he asked as he walked over to her. He reached out and touched her hip with his rough fingers, "I've already seen every inch of you."

"Keep your hands off me!" she growled at him.

"Or else what? You'll arrest me? You're not a cop down here bitch. You're nothing but a toy for me to play with and I'm ready to play again."

Olivia's heart began pounding painfully hard in her chest. "You wanna make it easy on yourself and play along?" Vince asked her as he unbuckled his belt and pulled it free from the loops on his jeans.

"Not a chance in hell!" Olivia spat at him.

"You've seen what I do. You've found my old toys and the way I treated them. My mother never did teach me to play nice. I'll give you one last chance. Get on your knees, give me a blow job that will make me happy for the rest of the day and I'll go easy on you."

Olivia glared at him for a moment, before as confidently as she could manage said, "I'm not playing along with any of your games."

"Have it your way then," he said.

His next movement was so quick that, although she had been prepared for some sort of blow, Olivia was too sow to dodge. The sound that burst from her throat shocked Olivia but not as much as the binding pain that seemed to burn across her face from where Vince had whipped his belt across her face.

Her hands came up to hold her face which felt like it was going shatter into a thousand pieces like glass. With her eyes shut tight in a valiant effort to hold back tears she never saw Vince's arm swinging out at her again. The loud slap of leather against flesh echoed around her prison and Olivia yelped in pain as she crumbled to her knees. The second blow had struck her between her legs and the pain had taken her breath away.

She tried to ignore the pain and tried to push herself up to her feet but the belt hit her again, this time the buckle caught the bare flesh on her back and she felt it tear open. She cried out in agony. She wanted to push herself up still but another blow hit her across the back again. It knocked her flat on her stomach, trapping her bound wrists beneath her.

She was trying to work through the pain when she felt Vince suddenly wrap the belt in a loop around her neck, he pulled the flap of the belt towards him tightening the loop. "Stop!" Olivia cried out as she felt it getting tighter and tighter.

Vince yanked hard on it so that Olivia could barely breathe. She could feel the leather biting into her skin. Vince was leant over her body so his chest was pressed into her back. He held the belt firmly in one hand and wrapped his other arm around her waist and pulled her hips up against his body, forcing her chest down and pressing her face into the dirty mattress. He leant further over her so his face was right beside hers.

"This _is_ going to hurt," he warned her before he moved back off her.

He was now knelt behind her, he grabbed hold on her left hip and kept a firm grip on the belt, he yanked her body back in one swift hard move, driving his fully erect cock deep inside her. A strangled yelp burst from Olivia's throat ,and although his next thrust hurt just as much as the last, she bit her tongue, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of hearing her scream again.

It was as painful as it was humiliating. Olivia tried to throw herself forward but his grip was too tight on her. She felt him lean his body over hers again as he continued slamming himself into her moving deeper and deeper.

"Please stop!" she tried to beg as he forced himself deeper, but the belt was too tight so nothing more than a wet gurgling sound escaped her lips. Vince was never going to do as she asked even if he had hear her.

The attack seemed to be going on forever, each thrust growing more and more painful Olivia was sure he was trying to tear her apart and crush her throat, all at the same time. His movements became quicker, and she could tell from the way his breathing became ragged that he was getting close to his climax. He let go of her hips as he slammed so hard into her her body collapsed beneath him so she was once more lying flat on her stomach, her body crushed beneath Vince's as he lay on top of her ensuring he spilled every little bit of his seed into her as he could.

His face was pressed into her neck as he struggled to control his breathing. She wanted to beg him to get off her but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing how much it killed her to have him on her, inside her.

When finally he did lift his sweaty body up off her a wave of cold air hit her. He let go of the belt, allowing it to slip loose from around her neck. For a moment Olivia remained perfectly still as she allowed her lungs to fill with oxygen again. After a moment she slowly rolled onto her side and began to recoil her body but Vince who was back on his knees beside her reached out and grabbed her thighs and pushed her legs apart.

"No!" Olivia cried as she tried to squirm back onto her stomach.

"Where are you going?" he asked her as he grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back over so her back was pressed flat against the dirty mattress.

She could feel grit, that had somehow been transferred from the floor onto the mattress, burying itself into the deep wounds on her back. She cried out in pain as her cuts were stretched apart as Vince yanked her down the mattress so that he could press himself between her legs again.

He grabbed hold of the ties around her wrist and pushed her arms back until they were pinned to the floor above her head. His body came down against hers, his other arm stretched down between their bodies.

Olivia groaned in disgust when she felt him insert two of his fingers inside her. His previous assaults had left her torn and bruised and his rough fingers only added further injury, more so when he inserted another two fingers.

She tried to squirm free from under him but it did no good, and she was sure only made him grow harder quicker as he rubbed himself against her. Frustration boiled away at her until she screamed at the top of her lungs "HELP ME!"

**~0~0~0~0~**

Elliot put his desk phone down and turned to face the others who had watched him take the call just a few minutes ago.

"That was the fiance of the woman Olivia and I found alive at the house. He said she just woke up in the hospital, only for a moment, but she said that Vince took her purse, she saw him take keys out of her bag, to her sisters house."

The others stared at him waiting to hear more.

Elliot continued, "She panicked because she thought Vince was going to go after her sister, then she passed out again. He said her sister is out of town for another three days. Tina had the keys because she's been keeping an eye on the house for her sister."

"We never found keys. CSU didn't either," Fin pointed out. "He tell you where the house is?"

"Yeah," Elliot said, already on his feet and putting his jacket on, "And I want to go check it out!" he had to call back to them as he was already making his way towards the lift. God he prayed this was it, prayed that they had found Olivia.

**~0~0~0~0~**

Olivia came to fully only to find herself almost choking. She had to turn her head quick to spit out the blood that had gathered in her mouth as she had lay face down on the mattress after having been brutally beaten by Vince.

Her whole body felt disconnected to itself somehow. She couldn't feel all of her arms, legs or torso, just parts, and those parts burnt, throbbed and screamed in pain. She tried to move her arms out to the side to push herself up but they simply refused to co-operate, and her muscles just felt like they were going to explode as she stained them in an attempt to get her limbs to move.

Vince had freed her wrists during the rape. His merciless attack had gone on forever. She was sure at one point she had even passed out only to wake to find him still inside her. She began to sob as images of the rapes came flooding into her head. She hated herself for crying but she couldn't stop once her tears had began to fall. Her salty tears only added to her pain as they seeped into cuts on her swollen face.

She was shaking badly and this only added to the pain she felt. She could feel warm blood seeping from a number of wounds on her body and from between her legs. She knew it wasn't just blood leaking out from between her legs, but also Vince's semen.

As pain built she slowly felt herself falling into blackness. _She welcomed it._ She welcomed the release from the situation she was stuck in. However, unconsciousness seemed to push her back each time she fell over the edge. She so badly wanted to fall into the black abyss but she couldn't. Her body seemed adamant to keep her conscious, leaving her feeling every painful reminder of what she had been through so far.

She knew she needed to process this information and store it deep at the back of her mind. She would work through it later...if she survived to see _later_ that was. It knocked her sick and made her skin want to crawl off her body to remain on the mattress after having been so violently assaulted on it but it was better than trying to sit on the cold concrete floor which only caused her more pain.

However, her body seemed to be burning with pain and she wondered if possibly the cold concrete would add some kind of cooling relief. She decided to try it. However, she had barely made any sort of movement when pain ripped through her body, twisting and ripping as it did so, the pain was so intense she cried out.

As the pain threatened to completely overwhelm her, the blackness, that she craved so badly, suddenly came closer. She let her eyes drift shut, preparing herself for the mercy of unconsciousness.

_It didn't come soon enough. _She heard the door to the basement she was in creak open. She kept her eyes closed and sobbed at the thought of Vince coming back to inflict more torture upon her. All of her senses seem to fade away except for her sense of pain. That wasn't shifting at all.

She flinched when she felt a hand touch her shoulder. Her eyes remained closed and she couldn't help but sob, "Please, no!" she begged, weakly.

Elliot glanced down at his partner, at the beaten, bruised, bloody mess that Vince had left her in. They had arrived at the house to find it empty, Vince was gone, but in the basement they had stumbled upon this horror.

"Liv, it's me. It's Elliot," he told her as he took his jacket off and placed it over her naked body. "You're safe now. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again, I promise," he said as he brushed her bloodied, matted hair, out of her face. "We're gonna get you outta here."

**TBC**

**Thanks, please review. **

**I know this part is over quite quick but this story has a long way to go yet and this is barely the beginning. **

**Thanks again.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Firstly, I would just like to apologize for how long it has taken to update. I've been stupidly busy with wok doing a lot of 14 hour shifts so bed has been the only thing I've wanted when I have eventually got home. I'm so sorry and hope this chapter makes up for it. I will never just stop writing a story so stay with me on this one and feel free to hassle me for updates via this site or twitter. **

**Thanks to everyone reading and adding alerts. A big thanks to all who are reviewing. I love to hear what people think, any predictions they have, even if theres something you really want to see happen in the story.**

**This chapter moves along quite quickly but it has too as this story has a long way to go.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Chapter 3**

Elliot was stood looking out of the large, rain spattered, window. The night sky was darker than Elliot had ever seen it look, and so the city below was lit up brighter than he could recall ever having seen.

Olivia's hospital room was on the tenth floor and Elliot had been in it as long as his partner had. The only difference was that he had paced the entire room for hours and studied every inch of the small and rather boring room, whereas, Olivia, had remained sleeping in her hospital bed.

He kept glancing over at her, praying she would wake up. She had been asleep since they had put her in her private room. She had been pretty out of it the whole time since they had rescued her and Elliot couldn't help but think that had been for the best. Evidence had been collected from her body, and Doctors and Nurses had fixed up her injuries but they couldn't hide the bruises and it was the angry reddy/purple bruise around her neck that kept catching his eye. _God he was angry._

He was angry this had happened to his partner. Being her next of kin, as she had no one else, he had been told all the horrid details of her rape exam, and so somewhat understood the brutality of her ordeal, but he couldn't bring himself to imagine how bad it must have been for Olivia. He was also angry that Vince had gotten away. He wished he was in police custody so he could beat his ass black and blue.

He turned his back to the window and walked over to the chair beside Olivia's bed. He sat down and rubbed his hands over his tired face and forgot about his anger and simply sat there with his elbows resting on his knees, his arms up so that he could rest his chin on his balled up fists. He refused to take his eyes off Olivia, not wanting to miss the instant that she woke up.

There was some part of him that dreaded her waking up. It worried him the questions she may ask. He was sure from what he had heard from the nurse after the rape kit that his partner would have been conscious for some of the abuse she had suffered. He kind of prayed she hadn't been conscious for it all, but then it came to that question _'is it easier to work through your rape not knowing what happened, or harder?' _Either way he would be there to help her work through things, that was for sure.

**~0~0~**

Elliot didn't know when he had drifted asleep but when he woke up he found himself looking right at Olivia who was wide awake and looking right back at him. She was lay on her side, just staring at him. He felt like a dick for having been asleep when she had woke up. He pushed himself forwards in the chair, leaning towards the bed.

"Hey," he said in a soft voice, "How are you feeling?" he asked.

Olivia didn't reply. She couldn't. She was trying too hard to fight back tears.

"You want me to get the nurse, or a doctor?" Elliot asked her.

His words broke her and tears burst their banks and a heart breaking sob burst from her throat. Elliot pushed himself even further forward in the chair so he was perched on the very edge, and so he could reach his arms out and hold Olivia as she cried. He rested his head gently against hers and promised her it was all over, that she would forget it in time and that he was there for her...that he always would be...

**~0~0~0~0~**

_**12 weeks later, Olivia Benson's apartment.**_

He was on top of her, pinning her down as he rammed himself into her body. The pain was grotesque. She wanted to beg him to stop...she wanted to fight...but she could do nothing and the belt around her neck just kept getting tighter, and tighter, and tighter...

Olivia shot up in bed, the bed sheets a tangled mess around her body. Breathlessly she quickly tugged them off her and threw them to the foot of the bed. She told herself it had only been a nightmare, but it hadn't. It had been memories and it had all felt so real, the pain, the feel of Vince inside her. It still felt real and she felt herself feeling more and more nauseas. It kept getting worse until she realised she was actually going to be sick.

She wanted to dash to the bathroom but she knew there was no way she was going to make it. She barely made it out of her bedroom before she emptied her guts onto the wooden hallway floor that separated her bedroom and her bathroom. She held her shaking hands flat against the wall and leant against it as sweat dripped from her body and her stomach ached as she continued to heave.

Eventually she fell backwards into the wall behind her and let her exhausted body slide down it. This event this morning made it 8days in the run where she had woken up from a nightmare throwing up. Every other day she had made it to the bathroom. She put her hand up against her forehead, it felt red hot to the touch. She wondered if perhaps she was coming down with something.

Her whole body was shaking, like a leaf in the wind, she let her body slide out to the side so she could press her face against the cold wooden floor. This soothing relief only lasted a moment before she had to push herself up onto her hands and knees and throw up again. _She needed to see her GP..._

**~0~0~0~0~**

_**The station house later that day.**_

Elliot glanced at his watch as he continued working on his DD'5s. Olivia was running late. She had done so the last few days, but not this late. Worried for her, he picked up his desk phone and began typing in her cell number. He wasn't even halfway through it when he looked up to see her walking in.

He put the phone down the moment he saw her. She had an odd distant look on her face and she was truly as white as a ghost. She seemed to be stumbling slightly, for a moment he wondered if she was actually drunk. He got to his feet and in a flash was beside her, one hand gently cupping her elbow the other on her waist.

"Liv, sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I need to sit down," she told him, her voice quiet, like it hadn't actually come from her mouth.

Elliot felt her become heavy and was quick to move his arms so he could catch her as her legs buckled. The squad-room was empty for once so Elliot scooped her up in his arms and carried her with ease up to the cribs. She began to cry in his arms as he did so. His heart pounded harder with each step he took, with each tear of hers that he felt soaking his shirt as she buried her head into his chest.

He walked into the cribs and placed her down gently onto one of the beds, "My god you're shaking so bad," he pointed out before he grabbed a banket off another cot and wrapped it around her shoulders, it was quickly followed by another that he grabbed.

"Liv, what is it, what's wrong?" he asked her as he knelt down in front of her gently running his palms up and down her arms in an attempt to warm her up some.

Olivia thought of a way to tell him the news her GP had just delivered to her. She leant forward, placed her arms tightly around his neck and hid her face in his neck as she told him, "I'm pregnant..."

**~0~0~**

At first Elliot had thought he had heard her wrong, then he just wished he had because he knew what she was really telling him...that she was pregnant with her rapists child. After she had done crying he had made them both a cup of tea. He now sat beside her on an uncomfortable cot in the centre of the cribs.

The cribs had always seemed like a bright room, which was ironic as it was where officers and detectives came to catch a break from the day, yet light always poured in. However, right now the room seemed dark, small and empty, so every word that came out of either Elliot's or Olivia's mouth seemed to echo around them. After what felt like an eternity had passed between either of them saying anything Elliot finally spoke.

"What are you going to do?" he asked her.

She knew he meant was option was she going to take. He knew he would never consider the alternative not just because of his religion but because he could see how great kids were and because he saw how amazing his partner was despite her own conception.

"I have no idea," she said in a small voice.

"Whatever you decide, I'll support you. You won' have to go through this alone," Elliot said.

Olivia turned to him, and with tears in her eyes, smiled. "Thank you. I appreciate that, I do, but I saw what this did to my mother...I saw what me being there did to her, what it turned her into."

"You're not your mother," he told her.

"Really, because I feel like her? I don't know whether I'm supposed to love or hate this baby that's growing inside of me," she confessed. "I never thought I would say something like that because I want children. I've always wanted them... I never, in all my worst dreams, thought it would happen this way. I'm so scared that I will love this baby but won't know how to show it, just like my mother. I never want to make any child of mine feel the way my mother made me feel at times, not even for a second."

"You won't," Elliot told her knowingly.

"What makes you so sure?" she asked.

"Trust me, you're going to make a fantastic mother. You've got the biggest heart I know and you won't possibly be able to love this baby more by the time you first hold it, I promise you that."

Olivia could only hope her partner was right. One thing she knew for sure was she would spend the remainder of her pregnancy wondering what to do for the best, wondering if she truly could love this baby enough.

**~0~0~0~0~**

_**Some months later, 3.30am Olivia Benson's apartment**_

Olivia was in bed, she was exhausted. It had been an odd day, being scorching hot all day and it had left Olivia feeling uncomfortable all day. She was sixth months pregnant and she felt like a whale. The heat had made her cranky and all day she had been snapping at people. She hadn't meant too but she was just so hot, fat and aching all over. There had been a constant pain in her back all day. The only thing her bad mood had come in handy for was interrogations. She had made a perp talk after she had yelled in his face. _That case was closed thanks to her. _

She lay tossing and turning, _as easily as someone her size could toss and turn_. The pain in her back had just got worse as the day had gone on. She had tried to have a hot bath and some food but she had been unable to stay in the warm water for more than ten minutes and she had thrown up after just two fork-fulls of food.

She flipped over onto her side and hoped to get comfy that way but the pain just intensified. She shot upright in bed holding her stomach where the pain seemed to have spread to within seconds. She hoped to feel the baby kick, something she had felt everyday but never really acted upon. She was never seen holding her hand against her stomach to feel the kicks.

She tried to breathe through the pain but another sharp pain cut through her and she cried out in agony. The moment the pain passed enough for her to be able to move she reached out to the side and grabbed her phone.

It rang a few times before she heard a familiar voice, the voice of the one person she could think of calling at a time like this. "El, somethings wrong with the baby," she cried.

"I'm on my way. Can you call for a bus?" she heard him say over the phone.

"Yeah," she cried a pain gathered again, once more making her cry out. "I think I'm gonna lose it..." she cried. Shocking herself at how much the thought of losing her unborn child, that she had tried not to think about over the past few months, scared her.

**~0~0~**

Olivia lay on a hospital bed, beside her was Elliot trying not to look as worried as she felt. She breathed in deeply as the ultra sound technician rolled the transducer over her swollen tummy. Olivia was waiting for the sound of her baby's heartbeat, a sound she had heard at her other scans but right now she heard nothing. She hated that she hadn't done more when she had first felt the pain she was in.

"Is the baby okay?" she asked the technician.

The technician jut smiled at her, sheepishly, and carried on moving the transducer around until finally they could all sigh with relief when the room was filled with the sound of a heartbeat. "Baby was hiding on us," the technician said.

"It's okay?" Olivia asked.

"Heartbeat is good and strong. We'll probably want to keep you in over night to monitor things but I think perhaps you just need to take things easier. I would suggest you finish things up at work and stay home and sit on the couch and watch movies, prepare to become a mother," the tech said.

Olivia nodded and released the breath she didn't know she'd been holding. "The baby is definitely okay?" she checked.

"Yes. Do you have a birth plan yet?" the tech asked.

Olivia shook her head and replied, "No."

"Put one together, you'll feel much better when you do. Think about who you want in the delivery room with you," the tech instructed.

"There won't be anyone, just me," Olivia said.

Elliot looked at his partner, thinking that if she wanted him to be that he would be there with her in the delivery room when the time came.

"Do you want to know what the sex of the baby is?" the tech asked.

Olivia thought about it for a second, she turned to look at Elliot to see what he was thinking. He just smiled and shrugged his shoulders, "Do you wanna know?" he asked her.

Olivia nodded, she did want to know. She turned to the tech and asked "Boy or girl?"

"Your baby is a girl. Congratulations, you'll have a daughter."

Olivia could only smile as tears filled her eyes. Tears of joy, for the first time in her pregnancy she could actually picture herself becoming a mother, having a baby...a daughter and she knew she would be a different mother from her own.

**~0~0~0~0~**

_Some more months later, Olivia Benson's apartment._

"I'm coming!" Olivia called out as there was another knock on the door. "Just give me an hour..." she muttered as she heaved herself up off the couch.

She had to rest her hand on her side as a pain bubbled away there. "Baby you have to stop kicking me so hard," she said as she slowly made her way up to the front door. She quickly looked through the peep hole. She stepped back, with a smile on her face as she took the chain off and unlocked the door. She pulled it open for Elliot who stood there with a smile.

"Wow!" Elliot said as he looked at her.

"I know, I'm the size of a pregnant whale carrying twins but you saw me 6 hours ago so you already knew that," she said.

"Actually I meant '_wow _I've never known it take someone so long to get to the door.'"

"I'm not quite as agile as I was before I got _soo_ pregnant." she said as she turned and walked towards the kitchen. Elliot followed her, closing the door behind him.

"You want something to eat?" she asked him.

"Will you sit down! You're supposed to be on bed rest," Elliot reminded her.

"I was resting but then you knocked on the door." she said before she leant against the worktop, supporting her weight with one hand her other resting on her side again.

"Liv, you okay?" Elliot asked as he put the grocery bag he was carrying down on the counter and stepped behind her, placing a hand on her back.

"Yeah. This baby is just kicking the life out of me." she said as she turned to face him, placing her hand on his which rested on her bump.

"I'm not surprised she's kicking, she must be pretty cramped and uncomfortable in there."

"I feel ready to pop and I still have a couple of weeks left."

Elliot moved his hands over Olivia's bump, gently feeling. He wasn't an expert when it came to babies but he did have four children of his own. He felt the baby kick against his hand. "She's strong," he said.

Olivia heard his words but she was also very focused on the way his gentle hands rested on her stomach. She felt so protected by his touch and the baby stopped kicking so she wondered if she too felt the same calming feel of Elliot's hands. "She like's you. She always calms down when you're around," Olivia told him, it was in an attempt to distract herself from how good his touch felt, from how much she wanted more from him.

However she found her eyes studying Elliot's hands which remained on her belly, his thumbs gently brushing back and forth. Slowly her eyes drifted up his strong arms and shoulders, over his muscled chest and up to his face where her brown eyes met his cerulean blue eyes. She smiled to see he was looking right back into hers. She had no idea he had been staring at her as she had studied him. They had been growing so close recently and both could feel the chemistry growing but both had been too afraid to do anything about it.

They could not have said who started moving their face forwards first but slowly they found themselves inching forward until they could feel each others breath against each others faces. Their lips puckered as they came right close, but not yet touching. Elliot moved to close the gap, his lips had just brushed against Olivia's when she grabbed hold of his arm and cried out in agony, grabbing her side again.

"Liv?" Elliot asked, moving his hand to her side in an attempt to see what she was feeling.

Once more she cried out in pain, this time her hand moved downwards so it was resting beneath her bump. Elliot felt her tighter her grip as more pain flooded over her. He knew the pain couldn't be from contraction as they were coming too quick too suddenly.

"Oh my god...!" Olivia cried out as she almost collapsed, but Elliot was quick to wrap his arm around her and steady her.

Her hand had moved to between her legs, when she pulled it away Elliot could see the blood that was staining her grey sweatpants, spreading as more leaked from her body. "Why am I bleeding?" she cried, terrified, as she looked at the dark red blood staining her hand.

"We need to get you to the hospital." Elliot said, wasting no time in scooping her up into his arms and carrying her from the apartment.

**~0~0~0~0~**

Elliot was speeding down the road, he had called ahead to the hospital to tell them that he and Olivia were on their way. She sat in the front passenger seat beside him, one hand on her stomach, the other gripping the door handle. She was in agony and another warm gush between her legs told her she was bleeding again. She couldn't help but cry, "I'm losing her. She's not kicking anymore!"

"No you're not, you're both going to be fine," Elliot told her as he reached across and placed a hand on her stomach in an attempt to comfort her.

"I'm being punished because I didn't want her enough when I first found out I was pregnant," Olivia cried as she felt overwhelmed with guilt.

"No you're not. Something's up but the doctors will see you now and everything will be okay. I promise," Elliot told her confidently.

Olivia gripped his hand and prayed he was right. Prayed her unborn daughter would be okay. "I think she's coming, El!"

"Hold in there, Liv, you too baby, we're almost there," Elliot said as his hand remained resting on her bump.

**~0~0~**

It had taken them just under thirty minutes to get to the hospital. The moment they had pulled up a team had been ready to load Olivia onto a stretcher. They had quickly wheeled her up to the delivery unit but with each moment that passed the worse Olivia's pain grew, and her pain felt mixed with contractions now. She didn't understand what was happening and she couldn't understand the hurried conversations between the nurses and doctor who examined her. She kept one hand on her stomach, the other gripped Elliot's and who remained by her side.

As Olivia struggled with another painful contraction a nurse peeled Olivia's bloodied sweats from her legs followed by her underwear. "Baby's already crowning! We have a lot of blood!"

"What's happening?" Elliot roared.

The doctor, presuming Elliot was the father explained, "I think the placenta is becoming detached, we need to get the baby out right away."

"Will my baby be okay, I haven't felt her kick for a while?" Olivia asked as tears fell.

The doctor turned to look at Olivia and said, "You're baby is in danger, I can't lie to you about that. I need you to push when I say, as hard as you can. The quicker we can get her out the better for both of you."

Olivia felt sick, and light headed but she nodded, "Okay."

The doctor moved to stand between her legs so he too could see that her baby was on its way. "Okay, Olivia next contraction I need you to push until I say stop."

Olivia nodded and tightened her grip on Elliot's hand. Two nurses now stood beside her, holding her legs up for her. Olivia felt her contraction rolling in and then heard the doctor tell her to push. She did using all the strength she had. She couldn't believe how quick this was all happening and she guessed by the medics reaction that they felt the same.

Her head flopped back as she felt her contraction end. "I need you to push harder than that on the next push, Olivia."

"I'm trying,"

"You're doing a great job, Liv," Elliot said encouragingly.

"I'm getting another one..." Olivia said.

"Push!" the doctor told her.

Once more Olivia did, using even more strength this time. "That's fantastic, Olivia, the head is out. Another great big push with the next contraction," The doctor ordered.

Olivia barely had a moment to think before she felt another contraction building. "You can do this, Liv," Elliot whispered into her ear as he wrapped his other arm around her, "I got your back, partner," he said.

Olivia smiled and then as hard as she could pushed. She kept pushing as hard as she possibly could, "Come on baby..." she said as she pushed more, "Come on baby...it's okay to come out now... Come on baby..."

She fell back with relief as she felt it come to an end. The doctor quickly snipped the baby's cord. Olivia watched along with Elliot as the doctor carried her lifeless looking baby over to an incubator that another nurse had set up.

"She's not crying..." Olivia realised, "Why isn't she crying?" Olivia called out, no one but Elliot answered her.

"She's fine, Liv, she's probably just a bit stunned from how quick everything's happened," he said, hoping he was right.

What felt like minutes but were actually only seconds were passing by and still her baby had yet to cry, "What's happening?!" Olivia yelled.

Her answer came from her daughter whose loud cries suddenly filled the room. Olivia could only cry with tears of joy. A moment later her crying daughter was placed in her arms, wrapped up tightly in a blanket which she quickly fought her way out of as she kicked and punched her arms and cried angrily.

It was only when Olivia brought her up to place a soft kiss on her head that she finally settled. Olivia looked into her daughters eyes and couldn't help but fall instantly in love. She looked just like her; sharing her mothers chocolate coloured eyes, her brown hair and her caramel coloured skin.

"Hi beautiful girl. I'm your mother," she told her daughter. "I'm never going to let anyone hurt you, I promise you that. I promise you I will love you forever, more than anyone else ever could."

Her daughter looked up at her with puzzled eyes like she was taking in every word Olivia said to her.

"I love you so much," Olivia told her daughter as she brought her up to kiss her head again.

Elliot was stood over his partner watching her interact with her daughter. He could see an instant change in her and he knew what it was. "Congratulations Liv, you're a mother."

**TBC**

**Thanks so much for reading. **

**Please review and let me know what you think. Hopefully the next update will be much much quicker. More updates for all my stories on their way asap.**


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